Today I woke feeling totally raw on an emotional level. Physically I felt drained and like I had been through a huge ordeal. I wasn’t sure what was at the base of these feelings however I did not try to hide from them and just let them be. I attended a wonderful yoga and meditation class and came away with a vision that I am still processing as well as a visit from a tiny little brown spider. This wonderful lil creature was quite persistent in staying close by and kept trying to get closer to be sure that I would notice him. I felt there was a message there for me so I promised myself to check the message the spider totem gives us.
One of my favourite sites that I visit regarding spirit animals is from linsdomain.com and her description gave me pause and had me thinking about what I have been feeling and what this lil spider wanted to share with me. She titled her page as “Creativity and Weaver of Fate.” This is a portion of her description of the spiders medicine message “Spiders message is that you are an infinite being who will continue to weave patterns of life and living throughout time. Do not fail to see the eternal plan of creation.” You can find her page with the full description here. Now trust me the lil spider that visited me was not a tarantula, however I feel that there is a connection with what she wrote about the spider that I was meant to connect with.
After a much needed rest I decided to do a reading for myself as the emotions still seemed so strong and I couldn’t put my finger on what or why I was feeling this way. Listed below is the 3 card reading I did and the clarity it brought to me.
The first card I pulled was to find out what is at the base of the matter. I wanted to know what might be the underlying reasons I was feeling so close to the edge and vulnerable.
I drew the 9 of Swords. Well hello there, I know I’ve said this before but there are times when the universe just gives you that big flashing neon sign that says….. this is it, so deal with it 🙂
Nine of Swords
Now this particular card and I have a pretty intimate relationship as it is the card of self-doubt, anxiety, depression, fear, all of those things that keep us awake at night. It is reminding me that I am creating in my own mind many of the challenges I am worrying about. That is not to say that everything is unreal, however often we tell ourselves stories that we believe to be true. These thoughts lead to emotions that can keep us stuck and trapped however the underlying message with this card is that the things that are holding us captive are largely in our own thinking. The Sword lies waiting for us to use to slice through to the truth of the matter. It is there to aid us in seeing our way out of the dilemma and to let go of the negative patterns and fears that have played over and over in our mind.
The next card I drew was in response to what or who do I need to help me with these feelings and I got the Protector of Cups
Protector of Cups
Well I probably couldn’t have picked a better card if I had been looking for help with this. The Protector of Cups is is one of the guide cards in the Rainbow Travellers Tarot and is deeply caring and considerate. They are particularly sensitive to the suffering of others and will go to great lengths to ease the situation for those who are in pain or struggling. This card shares the knowledge and wisdom that helps me to connect with my dreams and to overcome the obstacles that I am facing head on. What a relief to know that I have this guide at my side. Cups are our suit of emotions and it makes my heart smile and a feeling of ease knowing I have this guide at my side. It is something I know and just needed to be reminded of this today. The Protector of Cups is my knight in shining armour who is always there for me. I am so grateful this reading helped me to connect with him and to remind me that I am never alone. I will never let go.
The next card I drew was to get some insights into the final outcome and I drew the Chariot.
Wow what an exciting card to pull for the outcome of this whole situation! For me it is the perfect card that brings so much hope. The Chariot comes into our lives at a time when it is time to move forward in a new direction. It heralds a time of discovering our own freedom and power. This is one of my favourite cards and it always brings me so much joy. To know that I will be able to move through and out of these raw emotions is such a relief. I know that it important not to stuff what I was feeling for there is always something there that we need to focus on. Sometimes things we are holding onto things that may be blocking us, or perhaps just the fact that we need to take time for self-care. Either way there are lessons to learn when our thoughts and emotions are intuitively trying to reach us. We can get so wrapped up in all of the challenges we see before us that we begin to spin our wheels. The Chariot is the perfect card of reassurance that there are good things ahead.
Today was a blessing, even though emotionally I felt so fragile and vulnerable doing this reading for myself has helped to remind me that I am not alone, and that I am on the right path.
What do you do to help deal with days when you are feeling particularly lost or hurting?